Trauma Drama is a Worry...

Trauma drama can come easy as taking the next breath. When a person’s life has continually been upset by problems and trauma, emotional acting out happens without a thought. Emotional drama becomes a way of life. It’s addictive. There’s a high that that goes with jumping from one adrenaline-pumping situation to another. Health, physical and mental, is compromised due to the high stress that accompanies chronic emotional drama.

Depth psychologist, Donald Kalsched, in Trauma and the Soul, writes of trauma as “. . . unbearable pain—in other words, affect that cannot be metabolized by the psyche’s normal symbolic process.” When pain from past or present cannot be or is not dealt with, metabolized, it is acted out. Pain can be so intense that we can’t bear it.  It is traumatic and cannot be processed in a normal manner by the psyche. Then, we may compulsively, and unconsciously, generate problems so as to release this psychic tension by acting out.

Trauma drama is a worry because it destroys life. It sets us up and takes us down. There is no way out of dealing with inner darkness and outer dysfunction. We either act it out or work it out. Trauma drama needs to be dealt with or it deals with us. Psychic breakdowns happen when there’s too much on the inside pressing for attention, the delicate strands that hold mind and life together threatened. Outer emotional drama then breaks out and speaks to us, says pay attention, take stock, deal with things because they’re already dealing with you.  

Dreams, Symbols, and Soulful Solutions...

"How do dreams work? Can they heal me?" These questions were asked by a student interested in the healing potential of dreams. I answered, "They can help you to heal. There are things inside that we all need to face, things we'd rather not. Dreams help us to face them. They give us symbols that bridge the gap between the conscious and unconscious mind. Symbols carry a natural energy that pulls us together, makes us whole." 

C.G. Jung wrote, "Insofar as analytical treatment makes the "shadow" conscious, it causes a cleavage and a tension of the opposites which in their turn seek compensation in unity. The adjustment is achieved through symbols . . . If all goes well, the solution, seemingly of its own accord, appears out of nature." (Memories, Dreams, Reflections 1962, p. 335.)

The student went on to ask, "So it's organic, like natural?" I replied, "It's as natural as natural is. Dream symbols come from within you and help the fractured parts of your mind come together, heal, naturally." He shook his head, quizzically, but satisfied. 

Dreams are an avenue of natural healing. They offer solutions that take time, sometimes a lifetime, but time well spent and hopeful. There is a vast reservoir within us of nightly visitations from nature--dreams, symbols, and soulful solutions.

Archetypal Figures as Ghosts...

There is a spirit world. In psychology we refer to it as the collective unconscious, a realm inhabited by archetypal energies. Essentially, they are spirits, and sometimes appear as ghosts. C.G. commented, " . . . I know however that certain archetypal figures of the unconscious literally appear as ghostly controls with materialistic mediums. I can't deny the possibility that certain figures that might appear in our dreams could materialize just as well as ghosts . . . " )C.G. Jung to Dr. L.M. Boyers.)

People are often afraid to admit their experiences of ghosts. We're taught to hold the supernatural at arms length, be critical rather than open. Patients can qualify their experience by saying, "I don't know if I should tell you, but....." They go on to detail hair-raising encounters with ghosts in dreams, sometimes made visible in daily life. Such encounters always carry a message that help a person come to terms with aspects of self and life.

I once was in house said to be haunted. It was a few hundred years old. Not feeling anything particularly supernatural about the place, I turned a corner and saw an old mirror. I told myself that if there were a haunting spirit it probably lived within this ancient glass. I went on with the tour, left the house and didn't think much more about it.

That night while dreaming I found myself back in the house. Nightmarishly dark winds blew along the surrounding countryside. Out from the mirror popped the haunting spirit of the place, completely scaring the wits out of me. She was the ghost, an archetypal figure, of things past, family complexes and a culture oppressed. 

I awoke and realized that I had indeed been correct about the haunting spirit abiding in the mirror. As a therapist and writer, I not only author professional blogs, essays, and research articles, but am a novelist of supernatural fiction. The nightmare helped to guide the next step in the novel I am in the midst of completing. It heightened my sensitivity to the reality of the supernatural and how archetypal figures can often appear as ghosts.

Talking as Curative...

"No one has ever listened to me. Really listened and given me time to tell my story." These are the words of a young man who had been contemplating suicide. Prior to entering depth treatment he felt isolated and expressed this isolation by his statement that no one listened, heard, understood him. No one had ever taken the time.

Depth psychologist, Christopher Bollas, in his book When the Sun Bursts writes, "We all know the wisdom of talking. In trouble, we turn to another person. Being listened to inevitably generates new perspective, and the help we get lies not only in what is said but also in that human connection of talking that promotes unconscious thinking...Talking to an empathic other is curative. We all know that. We all do it. We do not need “outcome studies” to prove to us that it works." 

Patients in depth therapy talk about feelings, memories, and dreams. They explore and work through conflict, discover hidden potential. In the midst of daily life, we can speak of such intimate areas of soul with trusted others. We can share feelings and dreams with appropriate others and find supportive care and, perhaps, empathic insight. 

Talking and listening is part of healthy life and soulful relating. Gifted with personal or therapeutic relationships that can empathically listen and support, we find our way to healing and growth. Talking can be helpful, and talking and being sensitively understood is curative.

The Dark Night of the Soul...

The passing of old relationships, situations, values can usher us into a sense of darkness within. Ancient mystic traditions have described this as the dark night of the soul. Depth therapy facilitates movement into darkness so as to discover meaning, a new sense of value, and, ultimately a transformed vision of soul.
 

When darkness descends we feel lost, overwhelmed, and utterly at wits' end. There seems to be no way out of the dilemma we face. To stay stuck, leaves us feeling meaningless. To let go is utterly frightening. Yet, soul, that inspired tugging within us, bids us to move on in life, to let go and grow.

A colleague wrote, "The dark night is often painful and frightening because it involves the death of that which was familiar and directly pertains to the transformation of personal awareness so as to prepare it for crossing the abyss separating it from its own true nature. Psychologically this is difficult because previously held patterns of belief and old definitions of self that once brought comfort are lost. This experience can be likened to hatching from an egg whose familiar walls of self-recognition are collapsed, leaving one's sense of reality to assume a completely different apperception. Once the limiting factors of fear dissipate, deeper currents of self-awareness awaken leading ultimately to the emergence of a newly forming vision. ..Remember the HeartCenter as many times a day as is necessary"-W.Brugh Joy, MD

The above is an excerpted piece from a larger offering called:
Archetype of the High Priestess

Listening as Medicine...

Life and death depend on listening. All we need in life is one person who gets us, who understands and wants to keep understanding. This is food for the soul, nutrition for the mind, and sustenance for life.

A young man made his way into depth therapy. Through the years he made significant progress, healed deep pain from hidden trauma. One session he told me, "If I wouldn't have gotten here all those years back, I wouldn't be alive right now. You took me where I was, understood me when I felt like my back was against the wall and had no where to go. It kept me alive and still keeps me alive. You get me."

That's all I needed to here to keep me plugged into the vital importance of our relationship. Each session I remembered the words of depth psychologist, Wilfred Bion, "The purest form of listening is listening without memory or desire." When I listen to patients I don't want to have an agenda. I want to listen in the moment to their pain in the moment so that we discover the medicine, understanding, for the moment. 

Listening is medicine. It keeps us going when we know we are heard and that at least one other person in our life understands. There's something vital and healing to the simple truth that listening is medicine.

Trusting the Vibes...

A patient left depth therapy one day and, as they did,  stated, "I've learned to trust the vibes I pick up from people. They're as real as the time of day or temperature." I like the way they described energy, vibes, the sense we get from others or situations. 

This person suffered from a background of childhood trauma. They learned to cope by making everything "nice." By so doing, a young child could feel safe in what would otherwise appear as a hostile world. But, as an adult, the defense of making everything and everyone nice no longer worked. It left them unable to appropriately deal with real life. 

Dreams opened up to help. Symbols aplenty referred to a person lost, searching for self, wandering through forests and deserts trying to find something. They were trying to find their way out of niceness and back to self. to soul.  

Depth psychologist, Dr. Ursula Wirtz,  in her book Trauma and Beyond, writes, "Trauma victims often experience their trauma as a loss of soul and even conceive of the soul being murdered, as a spiritual stagnation and death....the restoration of what has been lost, and the reintegrating of split-off parts lie at the core of trauma therapy."

Rediscovering soul, listening to feelings, sharpens our ability to trust the vibes. Vibes are real and speak to us about life, situations, and people. Becoming spiritually alive, rediscovering soul,  ushers us into a new realm of psychic sensitivity where energies abound and vibes are real, and to be trusted.

Dreams Unclog The Mind...

When we feel foggy, we're clogged. There's too much that has come our way. We have trouble processing everything mentally. Too much stimulation equals fog. Effectively, we shut down when our mind can't take in even one bit more.

Dreams, that wondrous state in which our conscious ego recedes and our deeper self comes to the fore, help to sort through the clogs. A depth psychologist, Dr. Antonino Ferro, wrote in his book, In The Analyst's Consulting Room, depth therapists dream of their patients so a to work through clogs, emotions that get in the way of therapeutic understanding.

Dreams get us through clogs that get in the way of understanding ourselves and others. Someone told me that they dreamt of a close friend who reached out a hand, asked for help. The next day they received a call from this very person. Because of the dream they set aside their many duties, concerns and fretting that could clog life energy, and reached out to a friend.

Dreams unclog the mind so we can reach out when appropriate and reach in to self where deep waters run clear and, in the words of Dr. Antonino Ferro, "we are struck by the sense of well-being that follows such dreams, to the point of waiting and hoping for them to come..."

Healing Takes A Good Long Time..

A psychoanalytic colleague shared an NPR interview with Oliver Sacks in which he talked a bit about having been in therapy practically throughout adulthood, its relevance, and meaning: "Dr. Sacks you've been in psychoanalysis for 46 years with the same analyst. Do you think this has anything to do with your seemingly healthy mental well-being? Dr. Sacks replied: 'I think my analyst knows me very well and I think he likes me, which helps me like myself, and that's something that has not always been easy for me to do.' "

I remember a voice in dream telling me, "Healing takes a good long time." This transformative message came from the unconscious many years ago when I first began treating trauma survivors. Pressure was being exerted within psychology to treat people quicker, get them stable and feeling better, then discharge them from care. The unconscious was clear, via this dream, that quick and out  therapy is simply not the way of soul and that I am not to practice anything other than soulful psychology. 

A psychodynamic colleague and scholar at NYU shared with me his soon to be published paper on psychological companioning. Some patients have the need to be seen through in their healing process for a long time, a very long time, some for lifetime. As noted with Oliver Sacks, there is relevance and meaning to engaging our healing process and realizing that it is a life long process that may benefit from a lifetime of care.

The Art of Being Wise...

"The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook," wrote the father of American depth psychology, William James. Not everything needs to be covered, looked at, explored. Dream symbols speak to us naturally. They do not need to be minutely dissected to gain sustenance from them. Gently, they offer guidance, meaning, soul food.

A survivor of religious trauma shared, "My dream showed us looking at a radioactive waste pit. We were to know it was there, but not approach. It was cordoned off." In depth therapy we had done what needed to  be done, faced gruesome realities. The rest were to be acknowledged, but not approached. 

We don't need to directly deal with everything from our past or within our dreams.  After a certain point, symbols can be left within dreams to mysteriously do their work without conscious interpretation or knowing. 

Wisdom bids us to acknowledge and know when to move on. To overlook, in this context, refers to moving past and not lingering on what does not continue to require our attention. Not everything has to continue to be addressed to be at a good place for us.

Expand Your Sense of Now...

There comes a time when we sense things aren't working. The old ways don't cut it. We feel wobbly and like the world isn't what we thought. It's time to consider a different perspective.

William James, father of American Depth Psychology, wrote, "The world we see that seems so insane is the result of a belief system that is not working. To perceive the world differently, we must be willing to change our belief system, let the past slip away, expand our sense of now, and dissolve the fear in our minds."

Patients dream  of the world coming to an end. They panic until they see that it's about a new order dawning, emergent consciousness replacing what no longer works. "I felt like my whole world was at an end. And now I see that it was, but not like I thought. I needed to let go of how things were for how things are and can be."

A patient related, "I recall a horrifying dream. The Holy Mother of Heaven crashed down on me. She was a white plastered inert sculpture and dropped out of the sky. Dead and lifeless.  From deep within the bowels of the earth there arose a dark goddess. She was fecund, life giving, radiant with energy. I knew my past religious life was over. It was frightening. A new way of depth was emerging. It was terrifying, but I needed to go with it, to expand and grow."

An expanded sense of now dropped down from the sky and rose from deep within this sincere seeker and dreamer. It required months and years to adjust to a new outlook spiritually. At first, it terrified him; then, "the past feels like it's  slipped away." An expanded sense of now dissolved fear and birthed a new belief system and willingness to continue growing and changing, experiencing life in the present moment of continual transformation. 

A Steady Focus...

It can be so difficult to focus. Our minds race this way and that. Often, there is anxiety under the surface that calls out for attention. I've heard well meaning spiritual teachers, tell others to simply let the anxiety go and return to meditation. Trouble is, there's a message in the anxiety.

In depth therapy, we listen to the inner symbols and symptoms. Anxiety can be one. As we listen to what it has to tell us, there can be healing and growth. The anxiety then often abates. In the words of Mary Shelley, "Nothing contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as a steady purpose--a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye."

"I can do my spiritual practice," one patient related, "because I've learned that listening to my feelings and dreams, sometimes nightmares, is part of my practice. Once I've looked within and understood the meaning behind the feelings or images, meditation is easier. I am calmer."

Standing Alone...

Soul and aloneness are as a dolphin swimming in deep ocean waters. Discovering soul,  we experience an enhanced sense of connection with others and a remarkably cohesive sense of self. Yet, there remains an essential aloneness. It is not loneliness, which often betrays disconnection from self and intimate others; rather, it is a sense of inner wholeness, completion within oneself. 

C.G. Jung wrote, "I had to understand that I was unable to make the people see what I am after. I am practically alone.  There are a few who understand this and that, but almost nobody sees the whole....I have failed in my foremost task: to open people’s eyes to the fact that man has a soul and there is a buried treasure in the field and that our religion and philosophy are in a lamentable state."  (Psychological Perspectives 6/1 (Spring 1975), p. 14). 

Jung, for me, has been both an inspiration and a cautionary tale. His words intone a desperation to "open people's eyes." My first depth psychotherapist, an east Indian trained at Zurich during Jung's tenure, often related that Jung struck him as "such a mixed bag." He fashioned himself an avatar of consciousness, surrounding himself with followers, in this  a certain sadness borne of an unrelenting desire to be noted,  understood, and perhaps to not have to bear the tension of standing so alone . 

A patient remarked, "I'm the odd man out in my family. I need to leave it that way, because when I press it and try to get through then I lose my peace. I become unhappy." 

There is wisdom in standing alone, and letting things be. We needn't try and get through to others. However, it requires bearing the tension of desiring understanding yet maintaining the willingness to rest content with soul, the treasure once buried now unearthed . 

Faith At The Center of the Self...

This morning after I completed my yoga practice I opened an ancient mystical text and read the faith is at the center of the self. Yogic philosophy teaches that life is a meditation on the self. We contemplate truth to self the entirety of our life and look to live in accord with our nature. Then we have lived life well.

A colleague wrote, "...our unconscious hopes and dreams, our goals and ends, pull us toward our transformation from fatedness to destiny" (Psychoanalytic Dialogues 25.3 p. 309). Faith pulls us forward into what is meant for us in life. We tap into meaningfulness, the lived reality of the deep self.

We thrive when we live in accord with self. When we are at odds with self then disharmony affects all aspects of life. We can cease to feel well and prosper. "But, all this requires faith," one person confided. "And, that's hard, because my trust levels were shattered as a kid. Those I needed to trust in betrayed me. My healing path calls me to learn about faith, faith in my instincts, feelings, dreams. It's a new way. I like it, but it is challenging."

He went on, "I remembered a dream from five years ago. It showed me in my present office in the type of business I've always wanted. I'd forgotten about it until now. But, it didn't just happen. It took hard inner work to get here, and plenty of faith."

Energy going Upwards...

C.G. Jung writes to Dr. Schmitt (December 20, 1945). "In alchemy...is presumably meant a transformation of the destructive fiery spirit into a spiritus vitae. You are in the midst of an inner confrontation with yourself which is of the highest general importance....we must also inquire whether something that wants to go upwards has not taken a false route downwards into the body."

Today I'm completing my recovery from medical congestion. Psychologically, I've been blocked up. It went into my body and needed medical attention; but, I waited for depth of understanding, and it came. 

Dreams suggested that I needed to let go of what was no longer appropriate. I had been unwittingly holding on. It blocked energy, inspiration. Knowing what that was, I started to heal. Fresh insights came; rather than taking a false route downwards into the body, psychic energy could be transformed, move upwards into creative resolution.

The Self As The Heart of All Things...

A colleague teaching psychoanalysis and mysticism at NYU shared on our listserv the following quote, so I thought I'd pass it on for inspiration on an ages-old topic:

The Upanishads are also called Vedanta because they come at the end of the Vedas and contain the essence of their teachings. The word ‘Upanishad’… means ‘to sit close’ or draw close to the teacher or guru, and equally can be taken to mean to ‘go close’ to the teaching itself.

There is only one Power—
And it is That which is in the hearts of all…
It is the Self in the heart of all things
Which is the eternal amidst the ephemeral,
Consciousness within conscious…
There, in that Self,
The sun cannot shine,
Nor the moon or stars.
The light of lightening cannot reach It,
Much less a conflagration on Earth.
Yet by Its presence all these are lit
And light shines forth…
It is the eternal tree of creation
Reaching with Its roots up to the sky
And with Its branches down to the earth.
Its roots remain resplendent and immortal
And in Its branches the worlds come to rest.
There is nothing beyond That.
Let the five sense
And the mind they serve become still.
Let awareness itself
Cease all activity and become watchful.
Then you will have begun your journey…
Remain present only to that Presence,
Knowing that It is what is…
One hundred and one rivers
Flow from the heart in all directions…
One will take you upward beyond yourself…
That Inner Being is there
Present in the hearts of all.
Bring all that you are before That:
Draw it out as you would
A shaft from the center of a reed…
(Excerpted from the Katha Upanishad, translated by Swami Ambikananda Saraswati, Penguin, 2001)

Depression, Healing, and the Spirit World...

New York Times article, Reducing My Dose, Unblocking My Muse (5.26.15), stated "One thing you learn if you live with depression is that it’s a fickle child: something that mollifies it one day might have no effect on it, or inflame it, the next. Though writing and antidepressants have brought me the best and most reliable relief, I’ve also found relief in sunshine, friendship, falling in love, caring for others."

People suffer from depression. Some admit it, deal with it, others suffer silently. Either way, it is a reality for many, needless suffering for some, for others a path to discovery.

Individuals choose to either seek healing or not for their depression. Medication lessens symptoms, but does not treat underlying emotional causes. There are emotional and spiritual reasons why we suffer.

Turning within guides us into deep frontiers replete with healing energies, presences.  After spending a long while working through psychological issues related to trauma and depression a patient related a dream: "I approached the door of a surreal home, aglow with spiritual luminescence.  A black goddess waited for me with open arms. 'Welcome home,' she said. I wept. My journey was well worth the effort. I feel more whole, complete, than ever before in my life. My depression lifted."

Friendship, love, caring, and medication if necessary,  help us heal from depression; but, most profoundly, transformative mystic encounter makes us whole, complete, ravages of depression paling as we move into home, self, and are welcomed. 

Exercise Improves Rhythm of Life...

Depth psychology knows the psyche is a body/psyche. Jung wrote, "Psyche and matter are two different aspects of one and the same thing" (CW 8:418). What effects body effects psyche and vice versa. Life propels us forward when our energy is good. We cooperate with natural rhythms. Exercise improves our ability to be in and remain in natural rhythms of life.

Patients in depth therapy inevitably dream of exercise, diet, body self care. Once trauma/crisis has been addressed, soul turns to self care. Dreams open up with vivid imagery of food, specific types of exercise, need for rest and restoration.

A patient dreamt of a giant cupcake chasing her. "I ran and ran and it finally caught up with me and swallowed me." She awoke shaking, knowing she had to be truthful about her eating. The next day in therapy she admitted, "There's been stuff I've needed to talk about. I've been eating a cupcake every other night. It drugged my feelings. I don't have to face them in therapy." A dream helped her break the cupcake habit and opened and do her soul work.

Another patient encountered in a dream a body engineer. He taught her yoga and how it alters body and mind. The instructions were so clear  and powerful she wept in the dream. We processed this together in therapy and she began a regular yoga practice. Her  body and mind were positively transformed.

A New York Times Article (5.21.15) reviewed literature and summarized, "...among its many virtues, exercise improves the rhythm of our lives." Soul work, deep dreaming, communicates symbolically how body self care nourishes psyche. Rhythms of life stabilize, improve, as we tap into the reality that "psyche and matter are two different aspects of one and the same thing."  

Happiness Is A Process

     Happiness is the experience of being alive and knowing life to be beautiful. "I feel it in my body," said a trauma survivor. This person had felt the pain of being physically and sexually abused. Their body had gone numb and at times felt dead. "Now, I feel the change of seasons, the shifting light, different scents in the air. I'm alive. I'm happy."

     She went on to say, "Happiness is my life process. It's always in the works and I'm always working on it." Dream material depicted her, the dreaming ego, as shoveling through the debris of the day. Each day she would discover a luminescent stone. They were natural stones such as lapis, turquoise, agate.

Natural stones symbolize facets of psychic life. In general, they emphasize consciousness, the discovery of soul and soulfulness. They are the philosopher’s stone or the pearl of great price, symbols of wisdom and psychic treasure.

     As a trauma survivor, this woman learned that happiness is possible. She knew trauma, emotional drama, day-to-day ups and downs that seemed unending. Well being was a new discovery. Dreams symbolized it as the discovery of stones.

     Trauma survivors, those who’ve done psychic work and are growing, are spiritual people. They are earnest souls with a determined desire to get well. Working their way out of meaningless suffering is their priority. Trauma survivors who are healing learn that healing and happiness is a process. In the words of C.G. Jung trauma survivors in the process of healing learn to "direct libido toward things and people and to render them alive and beautiful."

Clear Out Emotional Debris To Set Yourself Free...

Working through psychic gunk, old pains and resentments, precedes the cultivation of happiness. We can’t put on a happy face and think that this is genuine well being. Authentic joy is hard won. It comes from have done underlying work that clears out psychic debris and sets us free.

Freedom is a challenging experience. I was tending to Social Media and came across a post that read, “If you have a self, you don’t have others.” I reposted it on Facebook and Twitter and was surprised at the number of likes and reposts. People can understand the importance of setting the self free, to include from inappropriate or unhealthy relationships and patterns of relating.

Emotional debris clings to dysfunctional relationships. Someone shared a dream in which cockroaches travelled head to toe over them and another person with whom they were involved. They complained of feeling stifled in the relationship, unfree. “I’ve learned that for me when cockroaches show up in dreams, they’re about denial. I’ve been in denial about how unhappy I’ve been in this relationship. We’ve tried, but there doesn’t seem to be any fixing it. It’s time to move on.” Their bug infested dreams stopped once they understood the dream and acted on its guidance.

I saw this person many months later and they commented that energy had been better since ending the dysfunctional relationship. They set themselves free by clearing out emotional gunk, dysfunctional relating and an irretrievable relationship. Happiness and well being slowly returned once they met the challenge of freeing the self and in turn finding their way back to emotional and spiritual equilibrium.