Talking as Curative...

"No one has ever listened to me. Really listened and given me time to tell my story." These are the words of a young man who had been contemplating suicide. Prior to entering depth treatment he felt isolated and expressed this isolation by his statement that no one listened, heard, understood him. No one had ever taken the time.

Depth psychologist, Christopher Bollas, in his book When the Sun Bursts writes, "We all know the wisdom of talking. In trouble, we turn to another person. Being listened to inevitably generates new perspective, and the help we get lies not only in what is said but also in that human connection of talking that promotes unconscious thinking...Talking to an empathic other is curative. We all know that. We all do it. We do not need “outcome studies” to prove to us that it works." 

Patients in depth therapy talk about feelings, memories, and dreams. They explore and work through conflict, discover hidden potential. In the midst of daily life, we can speak of such intimate areas of soul with trusted others. We can share feelings and dreams with appropriate others and find supportive care and, perhaps, empathic insight. 

Talking and listening is part of healthy life and soulful relating. Gifted with personal or therapeutic relationships that can empathically listen and support, we find our way to healing and growth. Talking can be helpful, and talking and being sensitively understood is curative.